ACTIVE LISTENING, THE FIRST STEP…

As human beings we develop a selective listening: listening only to what we want to hear.

This is good for evolution but risky for negotiations because often we are just focus on the arguments that support our position.

Take also into account that we can process a very limited amount of info at same time. So by not talking we are preparing our next argument and by talking we are presenting our argument, but not listening the other party at either moment.

Negotiation is a dialogue so we need to listen the other party to identify what they want, but more importantly, to provide a sense of understanding, trust and safety.

So, let them talk without interrupting and just repeat shortly what they said to make sure that you understood properly (and to make sure that they know that you were listening).

It is not easy at the beginning but there are ways to learn, later creating a normal behavior.